The Meaning of Life. My Life

on Tuesday August 16, 2005 1825h by Jonathan
in Life

A while back I posted on ‘The Meaning of Life‘. I’m starting to feel that way again, if not more then ever before.

Tomorrow I have SP Adventurers training. I’m going out with my classmates instead. If you’ve known me in VS, no doubt that you would find that surprising.

Its weird. It’s like I can’t employ the enthusiasm that I had for CIC/LTC in VS to SP. Back in VS, CCAs were the one thing on top of my list. Now I don’t seem like me anymore.

Which ultimately brings me to the question. Who am I? Can I even say for certain that I was (and will always be) a Victorian Student Leader? Why did I choose to become one in the first place?

Lets do a recap on my life. I first forayed into the leadership arena in Primary School, serving as a monitor and then a prefect and then as Head Prefect. Followed up with Monitorship and Prefectship in VS. But why that path? Is it because I enjoy doing what I did? Was it merely a facade? Or is it because that was what I expected of myself. Then who am I to expect things from myself and what standards am I supposed to set for myself? Do I even hold the power to decide who I want to be?

Perhaps society makes us who we are. Perhaps we are who we choose to be. Perhaps I have no idea what I’m talking about. In VS, I stayed away from the ‘illegal’ stuff because I felt that it wasn’t who I was. But who the heck was I in the first place?

What differentiates a person with outstanding moral integrity from one who’s in death row? Society? Environment? Influence? The friends they have? Or is just fated to be?

I just realised that’s a whole lot of questions, most of which I would likely never be able to answer. So much for what life throws at you. If only you could take some and throw it back.

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